Are you distrustful? Maybe you’ve been betrayed or lied to in the past and now look for it in everyone.
Are you always waiting for the other shoe to drop? Although people complain about their problems, many have even more difficulty accepting the good.
When you get hooked on someone else who is (think Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big), your problem is disguised as his. This keeps you in denial of your own unavailability.
- When they cant find imperfection, their anxiety rises. Given time, they will find an excuse to end the relationship.
- These people look for and find a fatal flaw in the opposite sex and then move on. The problem is that theyre scared of intimacy.
If you answered yes to some of
Anger. Notice rudeness to waiters and others, revealing pent-up rage. This type of person is demanding and probably emotionally abusive. Arrogance. Avoid someone who brags and acts cocky, signaling low self-esteem.
Often these different reasons for you overlap, and its difficult to are whether the problem is unavailable or will pass. If youre looking for a close, committed relationship, a person living in another state, or who is married or still in love with someone else is emotionally going to be there for you.
Here’s a list of more subtle red flags that may signal unavailability, especially when several add up. They apply to both genders. Following them are questions to ask yourself to find out whether you’re ready for a committed relationship.
4. The past. Find out if the person has had a long-term relationship and why it ended. You may learn that prior relationships ended at the stage when intimacy normally develops.
APA Reference Lancer, D. (2016). How to Spot Emotional Unavailability. Psych Central . Retrieved on August 22, 2016, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-spot-emotional-unavailability/
Do you make excuses to
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- Casual encounters
- -are you emotionally unavailable